he, had a girlfirend
when he told me he wanted to be with me .
i can't even type think or talk .
longer post later.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I always end up where i started.
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
I started talking to Cameron again.
It's always the same thing with him . It just seems like he likes me so much, and then he'll do something really random that makes it seem like he doesn't.
EX.
We'll be talking, he'll call me. He'll be all sweet and talk about how he wants to see me ( we go to different schools) and then he'll randomly be like, STEF'S ON THE OTHER LINE she's way more important bye !
and before i can even say bye, he's gone.
The last thing we talked about before our little break was being together.
I was soo sick of playing his stupid little games, so i just told him exactly how i felt. I told him, i wasn't a slut and he couldn't just hook up with me and then go back and say we were just friends.
I started crying because he was got mad, and every time i upset him i'm always afraid i'll loose him for good. So we talked more and more and i told him how when we met (for the first time) he barely spoke to me and how much that hurt. Then he uttered words that i thought would change everything. He said:
"I'm going to be honest, and it will change everything but i don't care. I like you, more than i've ever liked anybody and i think you beautiful but i feel like i'm getting in to deep with someone whose so different from me. Your so good, and that's why i haven't made my move."
( By the " so good part" he meant i was straight edge, because i don't smoke or drink)
Then he said:
" and honestly, if i were to date you, my friends would disown me."
so after the first comment, i was so happy just to know that he really did have feelings for me.
but by the time i read the second one i was pissed, how could he do this ? Just because his stupid friends, Katrina and Georgina didn't like me, just because they both attacked me out of pure jealousy ? We couldn't be together, because of them ?
However, no matter what he does, no matter how much he hurts me, i always go back, because i like him, and he's the only guy to ever pay even the slightest bit of attention to me. The only guy yo ever tell me i was pretty. I'm almost 16 and i've never been kissed .
yeah, i know, laugh it up .
the perfect way to describe us is through this song ;
Crush; David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Leave me advice about what i should do about Cameron.
xoxo,
Winter .
I started talking to Cameron again.
It's always the same thing with him . It just seems like he likes me so much, and then he'll do something really random that makes it seem like he doesn't.
EX.
We'll be talking, he'll call me. He'll be all sweet and talk about how he wants to see me ( we go to different schools) and then he'll randomly be like, STEF'S ON THE OTHER LINE she's way more important bye !
and before i can even say bye, he's gone.
The last thing we talked about before our little break was being together.
I was soo sick of playing his stupid little games, so i just told him exactly how i felt. I told him, i wasn't a slut and he couldn't just hook up with me and then go back and say we were just friends.
I started crying because he was got mad, and every time i upset him i'm always afraid i'll loose him for good. So we talked more and more and i told him how when we met (for the first time) he barely spoke to me and how much that hurt. Then he uttered words that i thought would change everything. He said:
"I'm going to be honest, and it will change everything but i don't care. I like you, more than i've ever liked anybody and i think you beautiful but i feel like i'm getting in to deep with someone whose so different from me. Your so good, and that's why i haven't made my move."
( By the " so good part" he meant i was straight edge, because i don't smoke or drink)
Then he said:
" and honestly, if i were to date you, my friends would disown me."
so after the first comment, i was so happy just to know that he really did have feelings for me.
but by the time i read the second one i was pissed, how could he do this ? Just because his stupid friends, Katrina and Georgina didn't like me, just because they both attacked me out of pure jealousy ? We couldn't be together, because of them ?
However, no matter what he does, no matter how much he hurts me, i always go back, because i like him, and he's the only guy to ever pay even the slightest bit of attention to me. The only guy yo ever tell me i was pretty. I'm almost 16 and i've never been kissed .
yeah, i know, laugh it up .
the perfect way to describe us is through this song ;
Crush; David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Leave me advice about what i should do about Cameron.
xoxo,
Winter .
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
twas the night before Christmas.
Abfd;asjfs'gfdg
okay, so i'm just really mad right now, so i thought i'd leave a little rant for my readers !
i actually love you guys alot :D
CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME THE LOGIC BEHIND PARENTS ?
I get asked to shovel the snow, after i
mopped the kitched floor
mopped the living room floor
moppeddining room floors
vaccumed the entire house
vaccumed all the places where my cat sleeps
cleaned my room
cleaned the family room
and cleaned the kitchen
all while my brother sat on his ass, and then MY PARENTS DEMAND I DO THE SNOW.
i go to do it, because i am truly an excellent daughter, and after an hour of doing the drivway my mom comes out and says "Just the walkway is fine"
HDS;OGH'RDJGFH'SGHDFI'[UGISDFJGSHGFW'JH'
So obviously i scream at her because i was already angry to begin with, and she went off on me, like it was my fault.
and now, my lovely mother is telling me that i have done the dishwasher wrong.
Honestly, i fucking hate them, excuse my language.
At my age, i'm supposed to be going to parties and having the time off my life !
but im not allowed because " they cant trust other people"
I hearby swear, that if i ever have children, i will never ever be a retarted as my parents.
okay, that's enough for one day :)
Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah :D
xoxox
Winterrr :)
OH AND BTW, thank you commenters !
You dont even know how much the comments mean to me :)
okay, so i'm just really mad right now, so i thought i'd leave a little rant for my readers !
i actually love you guys alot :D
CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME THE LOGIC BEHIND PARENTS ?
I get asked to shovel the snow, after i
mopped the kitched floor
mopped the living room floor
moppeddining room floors
vaccumed the entire house
vaccumed all the places where my cat sleeps
cleaned my room
cleaned the family room
and cleaned the kitchen
all while my brother sat on his ass, and then MY PARENTS DEMAND I DO THE SNOW.
i go to do it, because i am truly an excellent daughter, and after an hour of doing the drivway my mom comes out and says "Just the walkway is fine"
HDS;OGH'RDJGFH'SGHDFI'[UGISDFJGSHGFW'JH'
So obviously i scream at her because i was already angry to begin with, and she went off on me, like it was my fault.
and now, my lovely mother is telling me that i have done the dishwasher wrong.
Honestly, i fucking hate them, excuse my language.
At my age, i'm supposed to be going to parties and having the time off my life !
but im not allowed because " they cant trust other people"
I hearby swear, that if i ever have children, i will never ever be a retarted as my parents.
okay, that's enough for one day :)
Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah :D
xoxox
Winterrr :)
OH AND BTW, thank you commenters !
You dont even know how much the comments mean to me :)
Monday, December 22, 2008
So, love what you got because you might get run over or you might get shot.
My life's been going pretty good right now,
besides crazy ex- friends
mental parents
annoying borther
the worst weather i've ever seen
and
a boyless life.
It's been alright.
On friday Jenna msg'd me over facebook, telling me she had my cell, so i asked her which cell she had (since i have lost many : ) So she explained it to me and it turns out its the phone i lost LAST YEAR at her party. I remeber begging her to look for it, because my parents were extremly mad at me since it was the 4th phone i lost, but she kept saying she didnt have it. Turns out she did, but yeah i'll get that back when school starts again in two weeks.
My parents have been crazier than ever, consatntly annoying me. They've been going crazy about keeping our house clean since its the holidays and stuff. But they've also been even more over protective since they found ot about this girl at my school who was raped by some older students. They've been leturing me about being aware of my surrodings and sutff. This is pretty mild compared to thier usual.
The weather in Canada, has been crazy. We have like 45+ centimetersof snow on the ground, which all fell in 2 days.
ALSO
Thanks for all the lovely comments guys !
I look forward to reading them :D
andd
does anybody know what happened to Taylor ? from www.themagicalworldoftaylor.blogspot.com ? She was the first blog i ever read, and she seems to be MIA.
xoxo,
Winterrr
besides crazy ex- friends
mental parents
annoying borther
the worst weather i've ever seen
and
a boyless life.
It's been alright.
On friday Jenna msg'd me over facebook, telling me she had my cell, so i asked her which cell she had (since i have lost many : ) So she explained it to me and it turns out its the phone i lost LAST YEAR at her party. I remeber begging her to look for it, because my parents were extremly mad at me since it was the 4th phone i lost, but she kept saying she didnt have it. Turns out she did, but yeah i'll get that back when school starts again in two weeks.
My parents have been crazier than ever, consatntly annoying me. They've been going crazy about keeping our house clean since its the holidays and stuff. But they've also been even more over protective since they found ot about this girl at my school who was raped by some older students. They've been leturing me about being aware of my surrodings and sutff. This is pretty mild compared to thier usual.
The weather in Canada, has been crazy. We have like 45+ centimetersof snow on the ground, which all fell in 2 days.
ALSO
Thanks for all the lovely comments guys !
I look forward to reading them :D
andd
does anybody know what happened to Taylor ? from www.themagicalworldoftaylor.blogspot.com ? She was the first blog i ever read, and she seems to be MIA.
xoxo,
Winterrr
Friday, December 12, 2008
hey hey hey.
So, its almost christmas !
woooooooooooooooooooooo !
Being in Canada, i still have school right now, which Australia and New Zeland dont, i believe.
School has been stressing me out so so much lately.
I honestly hate science so much right now, it's been really stupid, and hard.
I don't have much to update you on, really.
Jenna + Kristina, have been tamed. Someone wrote Slut on Jenna's locker, which was pretty funny, but ultimatly sad. Just because i used to be best friends with that bitch, which surprises me.
uhhhhhhhhhhh, they only thing that sucks about not having a BFF, is everyone else does, so you spend alot of time alone, with your parents, which trust me, succccccccccccccckks.
especially when you have parents like mine.
Over-protective & annoying.
i cant even go in details becuase it pisses me off to much to even talk about it.
so lets just say they're actually crazy protective, im not allowed to go anywhere, ever.
I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.
It's not that interesting, but its better than nothing.
So i have Drama frist period this semester. and as part of our 'auditons' for the summative assingment, we had to choose a movie scene and preform it, which was okay.
So my partner shows up twenty minutes late and then says, i'm not preforming today.
WTF, so i was like, no we have to go today or we get zero, and she's like no my mom wrote a note. I got home at 9:30 last night, so i dont have to do anything. OMG WTH IS THIS GRADE 2.
Well, that's when i started bithcing at her, telling her that i will go with out her because i am not taking a zero. She started to cry and i felt pretty bad, but seriously she needed to grow up.
Well we went and got the highest mark in the class. :)
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thats all for now :)
xoxo,
Winterr.
woooooooooooooooooooooo !
Being in Canada, i still have school right now, which Australia and New Zeland dont, i believe.
School has been stressing me out so so much lately.
I honestly hate science so much right now, it's been really stupid, and hard.
I don't have much to update you on, really.
Jenna + Kristina, have been tamed. Someone wrote Slut on Jenna's locker, which was pretty funny, but ultimatly sad. Just because i used to be best friends with that bitch, which surprises me.
uhhhhhhhhhhh, they only thing that sucks about not having a BFF, is everyone else does, so you spend alot of time alone, with your parents, which trust me, succccccccccccccckks.
especially when you have parents like mine.
Over-protective & annoying.
i cant even go in details becuase it pisses me off to much to even talk about it.
so lets just say they're actually crazy protective, im not allowed to go anywhere, ever.
I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.
It's not that interesting, but its better than nothing.
So i have Drama frist period this semester. and as part of our 'auditons' for the summative assingment, we had to choose a movie scene and preform it, which was okay.
So my partner shows up twenty minutes late and then says, i'm not preforming today.
WTF, so i was like, no we have to go today or we get zero, and she's like no my mom wrote a note. I got home at 9:30 last night, so i dont have to do anything. OMG WTH IS THIS GRADE 2.
Well, that's when i started bithcing at her, telling her that i will go with out her because i am not taking a zero. She started to cry and i felt pretty bad, but seriously she needed to grow up.
Well we went and got the highest mark in the class. :)
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thats all for now :)
xoxo,
Winterr.
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