Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
I started talking to Cameron again.
It's always the same thing with him . It just seems like he likes me so much, and then he'll do something really random that makes it seem like he doesn't.
EX.
We'll be talking, he'll call me. He'll be all sweet and talk about how he wants to see me ( we go to different schools) and then he'll randomly be like, STEF'S ON THE OTHER LINE she's way more important bye !
and before i can even say bye, he's gone.
The last thing we talked about before our little break was being together.
I was soo sick of playing his stupid little games, so i just told him exactly how i felt. I told him, i wasn't a slut and he couldn't just hook up with me and then go back and say we were just friends.
I started crying because he was got mad, and every time i upset him i'm always afraid i'll loose him for good. So we talked more and more and i told him how when we met (for the first time) he barely spoke to me and how much that hurt. Then he uttered words that i thought would change everything. He said:
"I'm going to be honest, and it will change everything but i don't care. I like you, more than i've ever liked anybody and i think you beautiful but i feel like i'm getting in to deep with someone whose so different from me. Your so good, and that's why i haven't made my move."
( By the " so good part" he meant i was straight edge, because i don't smoke or drink)
Then he said:
" and honestly, if i were to date you, my friends would disown me."
so after the first comment, i was so happy just to know that he really did have feelings for me.
but by the time i read the second one i was pissed, how could he do this ? Just because his stupid friends, Katrina and Georgina didn't like me, just because they both attacked me out of pure jealousy ? We couldn't be together, because of them ?
However, no matter what he does, no matter how much he hurts me, i always go back, because i like him, and he's the only guy to ever pay even the slightest bit of attention to me. The only guy yo ever tell me i was pretty. I'm almost 16 and i've never been kissed .
yeah, i know, laugh it up .
the perfect way to describe us is through this song ;
Crush; David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Leave me advice about what i should do about Cameron.
xoxo,
Winter .
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
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1 comments:
I hate guys that mess with your feelings, or the ones that seem to just like having you like them - it's like an ego boost or something for them. :o/
Anyway, try just being a friend to him... don't act as if you like him as anything more than a friend, if he thinks you're over him then maybe it'll make him realise what he's missing. Don't just drop everything for him anytime he calls, that's just letting him use you because it's like he expects you to always be there for him but would he do the same for you? =/
I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I've been awake all night.
Anyway, hope everything works out. :)
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