updateee :)

hay guys,
its been forever i know !
things have been, well interesting to say the least .

Cameron cut me out completely. deleted me off everything msn, facebook the works .
he unblocked me from msn a few days ago, but didnt say anything .
him an lauren are still friends . I keep telling myself im better off, but something in me still misses him, i really don't know why .

Jenna has turned into a complete slut, but were still firends.
it's hard to be seen with her in public at times ...
she had a boyfriend, sam for awhile and he is actually amazing, but she dumped him.
she's been whoring it out ever since.

Sam is important because he i like him, alot.
he doesnt know this and never will.
we're amazing friends, i dont want to ruin it.
people think we are a couple when we go out.
it's embaressing.

kristina is amazing.
i can depend on her for everything.
she's been gone most of the summer.
poland and boston to see family.

new friend, kaity !
i love her, shes actually my life
she's never fucked me over and i can really trust her (:

i'm getting kicked out of my house soon,
my dad can no longer handle me -_____-
im actually the best kid in the world, but he seems to think im some demon,
i dont know where im gunna go, but i have to found out soon .

there's not much else to say, leave me comments telling me your reading, give me incentive to post !

ps; i still read all your blogs, i just never comment to tell youuu <3

Forever ago .

I'm so so so so so so sorry its been so long, a lot has happened since we have last spoken.
I guess I'll start with Cameron, since that it the most recent news.


Ahhh, Cameron, how i hate you .

So my cousin, Lauren started talking to Cameron and they were becoming 'friends' pretty quickly, and at first i didn't have a problem with it, until Cam stopped talking to me. He just stopped, and they started talking all the time and calling each other and shit. So obvs, i asked them about it separately, and Lauren denied everything, saying they don't even talk and Cameron said they were just friends, and I need to chill. Then i asked him if he liked her and see said yeah, i didn't say anything. The next day i woke up to a long message about how he was kidding and how he would never leave me, not even if Lauren was the skinniest prettiest girl in the world, which at the time i thought was really cute.

The he invited me and Lauren to a party which was supposed to occur May 16th .
AT first we were going to go together, but after he started ignoring me and my calls, i told lauren i wasn't going and i asked if she still was, she said yeah. We got into a HUGE fight .So yeah, i haven't talked to Cameron in 2 weeks, he hasnt called me or msg'd me. The funny part is though, i don't care as much as i thought i would, i never cried, i never felt remorise, i was jsut pissed, at them at what she insists on doing, at him for not wanting to even tell me his side .

Whatever, its done now, Lauren promised that after the party she would never talk to him again.


The next thing, my kitty who i've had since i was five died. My brohter and i noticed that she really started to smell, so we gave her a bath and the smell came back insitantly, and we noticed she wasnt eating. We also noticed that she was swelling on the right side of her mouth and we figured it was an infected tooth that needed to be pulled, so we brought her to the vet and she told us that Sassy ( my cat) had a tumor about the size of an egg in her jaw. She said she really didnt recomend removing it becasue she would have to remove her entire tounge with it and we would half to feed her by a needle and she probably only live a year or more. She was 10 years and 10 months old, and she was a present from my dad for my fifth birthday. When my dad saw how distraught i was over her dying he went out an hour later and bought a new kitten, which we named Pheobe. At first i was mad at him for trying to replae sassy that i didnt want anything to do with Pheobe but shes grown on me alot. She sleeps with me know nad although she is so diffrent from Sassy i still love her. She loves to play and is desperate to get outside, shes a ragdoll cal and is creme with grey on her tail paws and ears.


So here is the reason i have posted in SOOOOO long .
Well first my laptop just deid one morning, it wouldnt even turn on :( So i was stuck using the desk top, which isnt the most private place to post . Then my dad lost it because i got a 38 in math, which i brought up to a 50 by midterm (: HE took my cell, My ipod, my DS ( which in the end he ended up smashing into two pieces) , my broken laptop and this desktop. He made me close all my email and fb accounts and i was forced to hand over all my savings/earnings to him. This punishment is still techincally going on, but i sneak on here everyt morning before he wakes up and every night after he goes to sleep. I cant wait till he moves out, he's going to Vancover for two months for the Olyimpics next year ! YAY! I don't mind so much though, seeing as he;s never home, all he does is work which i dont mind because it means he's not here yelling at me. He completely ignores me until its his time to yell, which is at least once during the day. Usually it jsut some stuff he makes up when he cant find anything. Ie. My "lying" my "messy" room and my "adittude" problem, all of theese things don't exsist.

I'm trying to think if anything else is exciting right now .

I doubt it, but if there is ill edit this

ttfn!

Winterr .

Truth be told, I miss you and truth be told, I'm lying .

Hey guys .

So, I don't know if i told you but i had to go to the doctor for loads of tests, but every things good, and nothings ab-normal (:

So i was talking to Cam, and he asked me to go the movies with him Friday, OF COURSE i said yes, and were were supposed to double with Jenna and her 'friend' Allan, but he canceled today because of Dorkis's sweet 16, not making that up, her name was actually Dorkis. He practically begged me to accompany him, but i declined, it would be so awkward being there with her and all her friends, and besides my dad would never let me go anywhere at 10.

so yeah, that's out .

I've been slimming, which is hard and it sucks, but my doctor 'advised' me to lose weight, which made me feel so crappy, but whatever, if it needs to be done. I've deiced that to keep my self motivated that every ten pounds i loose,I'll splurge on something I've always wanted. I'll keep you guys posted on my results and such. However, i wont say how much i weigh, i don't want you all to be disgusted LOL.

it's been a pretty craptastic week, none the less. Although i LOVE my English course ! We're reading to kill a mocking bird, and i love that book, despite all the racism. My English teacher seems to like me, i got a 90 on the analysis's i handed in to him.

Hmmm, what else is new... oh yeah, so in Canada ( i don't know about other places) we have this thing called the literacy test, and in order to graduate you have to pass, so I've been taking extra classes for that. Math is impossible and i have no idea what's going on in that class, it cant even understand what my teacher is saying. He has this thick Jamaican-French accent. I'm not even kidding you.

So far in the 50 book challenge i've read

- An Abundance of Cathrine's, John Green.
- Perfect, a pretty little liars novel - Sara Shepard
- Unbelievable, a pretty little liars novel- Sara Shapard
- To kill a mocking bird- Harper Lee
- The Girls - i can't remember atm, haha

All were very very good, and i recommend them all, especially the Girls.
It's about two conjoined twins, who are conjoined at the head, and its very good and very sad, i don't want to give anything away, but i highly recommend it. I'll look at the author and edit it later, haha.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO

It's been forever,
i am aware.


SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH TO TELL YOU OMFG !

Jenna and Christina and I are kinda sorta friends .
Although i'm defiantly not trusting them right away .
I'm taking things very slowly and cautiously .
Because really they don't even deserve my trust .
Jenna especially .
It seems a little fishy...
whatever for know we're not enemies and it's all good .


Cameron (:
Cameron Cameron Cameron !
we had the most RANDOM convo yesterday, i'll post it here .
so i didn't save all of itbut at the beginning I had said
LOL everyone is asking me if we're dating and he said tell them yes,
i told him, that would be a lie .
and he said not reeeeeaaaaaaaallllly, w're practically an old married couple
and im like yeah we have fifteen kids all beingning with 'A' ( just randomly lmao)
and yeah here we go .

Cam says:

LOLOL

Cam says:

everyone would think we're physcos

- Winterr. <3>

we are .

Cam says:

I agree

Cam says:

Winter ****

- Winterr. <3>

lmao

- Winterr <3>

we're going to be that family that the other kids parents dotn wat thier kids to play with

- Winterr. <3>

because our kids are going to be greasy

- Winterr. <3>

which is how me save money on our water bill

Cam says:

lmfao you are cheap

Cam says:

I always knew it

Cam says:

we wont allow our babys to play with anyone who's name doesnt start with "a"

- Winterr <3>

LMAO THATS SUCH A BRILLIANT IDEA

- Winterr <3>

we could make a whole 'a' cult

- Winterr <3>

and they cant marry or date outside of the 'a' cult

Cam says:

YES!!!

Cam says:

AND ITS NOT EVEN RASIST

Cam says:

YES

Cam says:

THATS THE NEW PLAN

Cam says:

AND WE WILL TRY ELIMINATING ALL THE "Z"

- Winterr. <3>

LMAO

- Winter. <3>

YES

- Winterr. <3>

we can stand on highway's with signs that say

A IS FIRST

Z IS LAST

Cam says:

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Cam says:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cam says:

"A's"

ahaha, just a random thing for you to enjoy (:

i guess i didn't have alot to tell you but, yeah there you are (:
oh and i did pretty good on exams
Drama- 85
Science- 60 ( which may not seem good to you, but to me is amazing ;)
History-65 ( LOL shit mark! )
Religion-83

yeah thats all,
xoxo,
Winter

so, don't kill me .

I'm Sorry .
we talked.
I forgave him, again.
i would post the convo here, but it won't really make sense .
I'll give you the just of it .

He starts the conversation with,
Cameron : Now would be a good time for YOU to apologize
Me: ME ? apologize to you ?
Him: yeah

well it continues on and on and then we talk, he apologizes and explains.
then i tell him how, i should leave, i want to leave but, i can't .
and he says he really doesn't want me to leave .
i tell him that he's lied to me, he's hurt me and i stay, even though i shouldn't
then he says " lie to you ?"
uhm yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So i kindly explain about how he had a girlfriend despite telling me he wanted to wait .
then he YELLS AT ME telling me that again he BARELY spoke to me and the only time we actually spoke was in the summer when we met .
then we talk about dating and he says that he really doesn't want to risk it, because we date it doesn't last, we don't speak and he looses me .
( which to me sounds like COMMITMENT !!!! RUN !!!! )
i kept trying to explain to him that, if i actually could stop talking to him, i probably would have LONG ago.
skjfkdhsaj;kfhdjklfhdas
I know I know, over and over again, every time we do this, every time we fight .
i forgive him
Then we are back to square one .
i really shouldn't do this again.
i know, everyone tells me the same thing,
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
and
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
and my personal favorite .
OMG I HONESTLY I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS .

oh and Christine, i can't view your blog >:|
Every time i click on your name, it says oh Christine doesn't exist, so if anyone knows how to fix this problem, please let me know .

that's all i have to say,

xoxo,
Winter

this is what happened .

So, after i posted that .
i asked him about it, because i didn't find out from him.
he told me the usual, to 'ruhlax' and that he barely talked to me in january when it happened
and it was only for 3 weeks, it wasn't even 'offical' .
i didn't even call him out for telling me, that he didn't want to date until he's 18 .
I didn't ask him, why he did this .
i just told him, i'd call him at midnight .
so throught the course of the night, i kept getting prank calls from a blocked number, they called me 19 times.
they were just screaming, "fucking skank, why are you talking shit about me you fat bitch ?"
so, obviously i ask, " Who is this, i don't even know you ? "
" Who is this ?"
" Winter"
"WHO ?"
"WINTER"
"WHO ?!"
" CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH, WIN-TER"
"i can speak f*cking english, William ?"
" NO WINTER LIKE THE SEASON WE ARE IN"
"OH"
"Who is this ?"
"WHOSE THIS?"
"omfg, get a life, goodbye"

so then, i figure out, the calls are comming from Cameron .
i figured out it was his friends who hate me.
so, i call him, and his friends answer and hang up .
he calls back and asks what i wanted .
i tell him about the stupid calls and how he needs to grow the fuck up .
he said he never called me .
i was like you called me 19 times, maybe if you see me sometime i'll show you .
and then i hung up .
they kept calling but i stopped answering .
then at 12:05 he calls, and i answered .
He said .
" Happy New Year !"
" Happy New Year !"
" Hope it's a good one wihtout me "
*click *
and he's on msn now, but he hasn't spoken to me .
and i'm not going to try and patch things up,
because even if he does speak to me and apologize,
it's too late, he should have done it with his friends there .
if he cared about me it shouldn't matter what his friends think .
he would have said " leave her alone"
or something .

but he didn't .
and he won't .
and i deserve better than that .
or at least i hope so .

but at the same time, i'm sad and upset and i feel like craaaaaaaaaap .
but i know things will get better .
eventually .


guys, thanks for being so supportive
it means alot to me .


xoxo,
Winter .

i can't breathe .

he, had a girlfirend
when he told me he wanted to be with me .
i can't even type think or talk .
longer post later.